Friday, 10 October 2008


I was quite excited when he asked me to do his laundry.
He suggested I listen to the Carpenters while I ironed his shirts, and having bought all of their albums on the recommendation of Sonic Youth during the Washing Machine era, this seemed like a good idea.
All the shirts were blue, I enjoyed ironing those, then came the pants, which had seen better days.
By this time, I was bored and wanted to tag the pants with an iron burn.
I put the iron face down, went to make a cup of tea, came burn!
The pants wouldn't burn! So I took them to Prick Your Finger where we conducted an experiment, placed bets and the results are as follows. 
The Aim - To burn a mark in the pants, recognisable as being the mark of an iron. The iron to be on the hottest setting and timed.  The mark must be dark enough to be seen from over the road.
The Bets- 50p each- Celia 35 minutes; Rosemary 30 minutes; Louise 20 minutes; Rachael 45 minutes. This is what happened.....
19 minutes - the pants started to stick to the iron, but the fibres changed from blue to green, not brown.
32 minutes -there was a smell of burning, with slight browning under the iron, but still no even coverage for iron shape burn.
40 minutes the burn had not reached the tip of the iron.
1 hr, an iron burn was present but with no sign of steam holes, and no brittle fibres.
Conclusion - there is still life in this mans pants.


Prick Your Finger said...

The amazing thing is that the reason these pants didn't burn is nit because they are made out of an indestructable teflon fibre..... but because they are made of wool. Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, WOOL! Natures very own high tec fibre.

Prick Your Finger said...

I have since discovered that these pants were made and bought in Canada. I am not sure if it is possible to buy pants of this quality in Britian, but I shall do some research and find out. Does anyone have experience of pants like this?

lovely textiles said...

I once slept with a man who, the next morning, asked me to iron his shirt. So I meekly did it for him... and 'quite by accident' he found himeself going to work with a big brown iron mark on the front of his shirt. oops.
just fancied throwing in my twopenneth.

elsie dinsmore said...

I see much potential with this hilarious experiment. I remember well the heady days of bra burning - perhaps there's something in this for metrosexual man..? (!)