STITCH AND BITCH MAP

PYF was delighted to knit a square for the Stitch and Bitch Map of the British Isles. It shows what a creative country we are, with knitting circles everywhere. Creativity and community is alive and well.  Our square is the one down bottom right with a big pink knitted phallis that is pointing upwards.

TEA AND ANTHROPOLOGY

Hello! I made tea for Mrs G. and Richard for nigh on 40 years, and it was a lovely time. Towards the end of my stay there I was attacked by moth. It was terrible. Here I am (above) when they found me.

I was brought to Prick your Finger, where they gave me a face lift, new arms, new hair and now I am happily back in service, pouring tea for the lovely ladies and gentlemen in the shop.

KALYANAMITRA COTTON FOR LIFE

RED COTTON is scarce in our shop at the moment, because the organic peruvian farmers only spin it in indigo, white, and grey, but when Mallika popped in the shop today, thank God we had one ball of red cotton in the bargin bin. Red cotton is for the Kalyana Mitra ceremony. Kalyana Mitra means 'Beautiful friendship' in the buddhist world and Mallika was on her way to the ceremony without her red cotton! 

Two senior buddhists become lifelong friends with a junior buddhist. The thread comes from the Buddha at the shrine, and then is wrapped around the wrists of the younger buddhist. 

I said one pound please and she gave me two. 

VERY BIG RABBIT

We have just caught wind of this marvelous knitted Rabbit, which has been left lying behind a hill in Italy for the last three years and will be there for another 22. The lovely big Rabbit was knitted by four artists who collectively call themselves "Gelitin". 

This piece is about wandering in the landscape and finding familiar things, or things completely un known, like a flower you have never seen before, or as Columbus discovered, an inexplicable continent.  

To stumble across this giant rabbit, which could have been knitted by giant grandmothers, could make us feel rather small, but it can be climbed on, you can fall in it's mouth, climb it's belly summit, watch it's intestines spew out, fall asleep on it's ear, and wonder at how this giant knitted rabbit country that might have fallen from the sky, can be seen on google earth. 

To find out more about Gelitin go to www.gelitin.net

CAST OUT CRUSTATIONS

When you are a crustation, and you arrive at Prick Your Finger, you have to wait outside. It's not that they won't look after us, it's just that our knitwear attracts a lot of moth, and they won't let us in the shop. Moths lay their eggs in wool because it is a protein fibre. When the moth larvae hatch they eat the wool, but it's tastier with an extra layer of perspiration, or any other bodily fluids.  Crustation sweat however is a delicacy second to none. 

 

FLUSHING NEEDLES

The day before yesterday, in flowed a handsome man, with a determined stature.  We thought he was admiring our exhibition, but no. Yuhi lives in the flats over the road and his toilet cistern had ceased to flush that morning. 

He knew what he wanted. Our 3.5mm plastic circular knitting needles were the perfect solution. 

This afternoon, Yuhi returned with this exciting video, proving that the knitting pin really is the most useful of tools. 

Thank you for making this beautiful film Yuhi, and we hope to see you again soon.

KOUMPOUNOPHOBIA.

Haberdashery was never meant to be intimidating. We now know the procedure for our Koumpounophobic customers. They ring to say they are coming and we ask the Pearly Kings and Queens to leave.

 

It’s the fear of the small, round, plastic thing with holes in. They are dirty and nasty and wrong and you wouldn’t touch them because it would be like touching a cockroach and you’d definitely have to wash your hands, several times.

 

The big ‘four holers’ are the worst, especially if they are detached, or dangling on the end of a thread. To be left alone with one could lead to dry mouth, breathlessness, panic attacks and vomiting. It is an irrational fear, surprising from our sensible, practical customers.  We asked one lady how they affected her and she said,

 

“I could not come near my dad when he put on a shirt to go to work. It was ok, when the buttons were covered by his tie, but mind you if one button was peering out of there. I would cringe and run.  If I was to open a box of them they might be looking at me. I even took the glass eyes off my Teddy Bear, I couldn’t stand them.”

 

Metal-type b****ns (like on jeans) are no problem; it's the small plastic type, especially clear & shiny ones, that are the worst. It’s possible to imagine that they smell bad and the air around them is dirty, and anything that has had contact with them is gross.

 

 

If any of you are offended by the not really said subject, please do not be afraid to come in our shop, just book an appointment and we can show you our selection of poppers. For the rest of you, they come in every colour and they are 15p each